


Dio brando wears pepe themed leotards and Roman pops a boner

by gore, ViciousCircle



Category: Hemlock Grove, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: M/M, lit im leaving the wapp format, please dont read this., shitfic, this was written on whatsupbat three am enjoy, why am i tagging this why am i tagging thisbwh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 10:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4475351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gore/pseuds/gore, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViciousCircle/pseuds/ViciousCircle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>please Dont read this</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dio brando wears pepe themed leotards and Roman pops a boner

**Author's Note:**

> Roman and DIO go to a vampire themed club qnd die

[01/08 1:21 AM] tra$h$elf: *~~~FIc OPENED~~*

[01/08 1:23 AM] tra$h$elf: Roman watched the strange man from his favourite table, sipping a pretentious ass drink that letha had ordered for him before fucking off with some dude to one of the rooms above. The man was dancing with some goth kid who clearly was feeling a bid intimidated by his hair. Roman wanted to approach them, but he couldn't dance for shit and he didn't want to blow his cool and mysterious cover.

[01/08 1:29 AM] tra$h$elf: He watched them dance and bit his bottom lip; he catched single drop of blood rolling down his chin! Enjoying the combined taste of cheap vodka and blood.  
His glass was almost empty already, actually. He felt like doing some rows but he hadn't bring the stuff - this wasn't goddamn pulp fiction after all- so he decided to go get another drink. It was the perfect way to make the strange man notice him, as he had to cross the dancefloor to get to the bar.

[01/08 1:30 AM] tra$h$elf: He got up, adjusting his fitted black pants, and started ealking towards the bar, making sure to walk as catlike as possible. The mans eyes followed him as soon as he entered the moving mass of bodies grinding on the dancefloor, and he looked back slightly outing just s little bit of his upir powers into the glance.

[01/08 1:31 AM] tra$h$elf: (He can hypnotize people through his eyes but he has to talk)

[01/08 1:53 AM] tra$h$elf: Outing*  
[01/08 1:53 AM] tra$h$elf: PUTING*

[01/08 2:01 AM] Get Memed Son: dio followed the boy with his gaze as he bumped his way out of the dancefloor and towards the bar as he licked his lips. it hadnt escaped him, the smell of blood. in the midst of sweat, alcohol and pheromones, its metallic yet sweet taste did nothing but spark his curiosity. he is an interesting one, that boy, he mused.

the Large Bara Man dismissed the little yelp of confusion his latest dance partner let out when he practically spun on his heels and started walking in the strangers direction, accompanied by the pointed, rhythmical movement of his hips.

(okay cry like a ghost by passion pit started playing good nice nice i can work with this)

the bartender had finished taking the boys order when he crossed the last two steps that separated him from his destination. (oh shit was this present or past tense?? well FUCJ). he felt the boy fall into awareness of the (Bi g) presence that stood beside him, and his dark colored lips parted to frame a smile composed by predatory teeth.

[01/08 2:02 AM] Get Memed Son: by the way luz, putting has two ts :)

[01/08 2:05 AM] Get Memed Son: fuck i should have revised this

[01/08 2:10 AM] tra$h$elf: Roman eyed the man disdainfully, surely the game wouldn't be over yet, he mused. And yet, he did feel some strange pull towards him, and it he hadnt been with someone since Peter had left...  
He angled his body to face the stranger, who was smiling at him. Roman licked his lips, making sure to smear the blood on his tongue on them properly.  
"And who the fuck are you, then?" (Its a small town) (idgaf how putTing is spelled but thank)

[01/08 2:11 AM] tra$h$elf: And he* erase the it

[01/08 2:12 AM] tra$h$elf: (Imagine the bartenders face) ("sir will it be a califronia then" "sir",)

[01/08 2:13 AM] tra$h$elf: (""SirS,!""")

[01/08 2:13 AM] tra$h$elf: ("Fuck this they don't pay me enough")

[01/08 2:13 AM] Get Memed Son: growing more and more amused by the moment, he, dio, decided to concede an answer to the speaker (lmao imagine a literal speaker) "it is i, DIO" (thid is a jojo meme u wouldnt undersrand)

[01/08 2:17 AM] tra$h$elf: "...Okay" Roman frowned at the stranger, maybe it would be easier to hypnotize the hell out of him and just fuck him upstairs , he had earned it and hell he practically owned the place. Ultimately, he decided that would be to unethical and dubcon for this fics purposes so he resumed his intent staring, lightly scratching the back of his head in confusion.

[01/08 2:19 AM] Get Memed Son: "so...— dio started, smiling down at the probably very short at least compared to him man — what do you think of my pepe leotards"

[01/08 2:21 AM] tra$h$elf: Roman smiled happily, he did not know what the fuck the guy was going on about but if he was on something it wouldn't be too hard to bring him around "Yeah sure" Roman said "Are those designer?"

[01/08 2:22 AM] tra$h$elf: (Roman is tall AF omf)

[01/08 2:23 AM] Get Memed Son: (dio is like. 2m)

[01/08 2:24 AM] tra$h$elf: (Roman is probs 1'80)  
[01/08 2:24 AM] tra$h$elf: (Omg)

[01/08 2:31 AM] tra$h$elf: I'm making a roman playlist lmao

[01/08 2:33 AM] Get Memed Son: DIO was at the same time pleased by the boys interest and a little thrown off by his disregard of pepe, yet he didnt let that show on his face. not everyone was as clever and informed as him in the topic of 21th century memes. "gucci (yet another jojo meme). good eye", and he winked at him.

[01/08 2:33 AM] Get Memed Son: jist. fuck it.

[01/08 2:36 AM] tra$h$elf: This was Roman's strangest foreplay session and he had to rip a wolf open to get into Peter's pants. He put a hand on the guy's arm, edging closer. "What are you doing on this kind of club then? You don't look the type"

[01/08 2:45 AM] Get Memed Son: DI,O tried not to snort. "not the type, really?" he thought as he made a mental inventory of his outfit —which was flawless— but that was not it. unless dark, skin-tight and shiny did not fit the shady, red cheese-walled (irl reference lol !!! luz has a shit taste) club aesthetic.  
"oh, really?", he purred [(i wanted to use this verb at least once before i die dont..judge)]. "and why would you say so?". he smiled again, a little wider, leaning a closer to the other man

[01/08 2:46 AM] Get Memed Son: ((( dude we need to write in the description of the fic that they go ro a vampire themed club or else it wouldnt make fucking sense !!!!))))

[01/08 2:47 AM] Get Memed Son: leaning a closer — sandra, 2k15

[01/08 2:52 AM] Get Memed Son: luz did u fall asleep

[01/08 2:57 AM] tra$h$elf: Ofc not  
[01/08 2:57 AM] tra$h$elf: Do u even know me

[01/08 2:59 AM] tra$h$elf: "Because you dress like shit" Roman drawled "You are lucky I have enough fashion sense for both of us" he sipped his dark red drink, without breaking eye contact.

[01/08 2:59 AM] Get Memed Son: ((( SHIIIT BUUUUURN

he right tho )))

[01/08 3:25 AM] Get Memed Son: D 1 O blinked, once. well now that was uncalled for.  
he watched the boys smug expression for the fraction of a second it took him to make Za Warudo stop time.  
"so, lets see. will i, DIO, have to kill you for that offense?" he spoke out loud, into the stillness, then reached to take the boys wallet from his pocket. he circled him to face his back while opened the wallet, but before he could search for any kind of identification we was greeted by both the smell of cocaine, and the smell of dried out, old blood coming from an apparently clean knife. he laughed. the kid had earned his sympathy, after all.

he was holding the ex-strangers id between his fingers when time restarted. "you have been graced with my attention, roman dogfrey (rip)", he whispered softly, close to romans ear(/nape/idfc its almost three and a half am), who was still holding his arm up in thin air.

[01/08 3:26 AM] Get Memed Son: while opened.........yet another hit by me

[01/08 3:28 AM] tra$h$elf: Roman came back to himself, the man's face was much closer than a moment before and he would've been worried about it if it weren't for the fact that he really /really/ wanted to get laid. He arched an eyebrow and looked cooly at the other man "you do know where you are right? I have seen much more impressive party tricks..." (This is so ooc)

[01/08 3:29 AM] Get Memed Son: (dude hes BEHInd him)

[01/08 3:30 AM] tra$h$elf: ( Who tf cares ) (roll e it) (roman is.looking behind him)

[01/08 3:32 AM] Get Memed Son: (roman stretches his neck until hes turned a 180° angle. "hey bb")  
[01/08 3:33 AM] Get Memed Son: (dude do u realize thay bb would b pronounxed like bee bee)

[01/08 3:35 AM] tra$h$elf: I'm.gonna end this

[01/08 3:35 AM] Get Memed Son: nO  
[01/08 3:35 AM] Get Memed Son: fude  
[01/08 3:35 AM] Get Memed Son: ...dide

[01/08 3:36 AM] tra$h$elf: Fude

[01/08 3:36 AM] Get Memed Son: okay this ends like thus  
[01/08 3:37 AM] Get Memed Son: - roman does smth stupid  
\- dio kills him somehow??  
\- but u said roman cant die  
\- dio cant either  
\- oo boi are we rly both vamps  
\- soul mates. married. the end,

[01/08 3:37 AM] Get Memed Son: - dio dies then bc yolo xD

[01/08 3:37 AM] tra$h$elf: If its a or ally blood death roman a gonna get horny

[01/08 3:37 AM] tra$h$elf: They can fuck  
[01/08 3:37 AM] tra$h$elf: Fuck it out guys

[01/08 3:37 AM] Get Memed Son: oh oh oh i know  
[01/08 3:37 AM] tra$h$elf: Is*  
[01/08 3:38 AM] tra$h$elf: Roman is so ooc n this I feel bad

[01/08 3:39 AM] Get Memed Son: - they move to a more private part of the place bc theyre out in the open and its making me fucking nervous bc someones gonna kill someone

\- roman does smth stulid like try to hypnotize dio

\- dio kills him

\- roman doesnt die

\- roman comes to life like ;-))))))))

\- they Fucc

[01/08 3:44 AM] tra$h$elf: Roman ... Idk.... I'm tird ... But insomnia

[01/08 3:44 AM] Get Memed Son: "and still it doesnt seem like you needed any tricks in the first place" retorted (tf) DlO, taking his time to feel up Romans ass as he placed his wallet back in his back pocket

 

lmao good night ill jus.t. be here

[01/08 3:45 AM] Get Memed Son: i was going to write butt xD instead of ass but i started bleeding from my eyes which prevented me from it. thank you god

[01/08 9:56 AM] Cels The Ceili: holy shit  
[01/08 10:26 AM] Cels The Ceili: what the fuck are molasses  
[01/08 10:26 AM] Cels The Ceili: and ehy do people keep using them for metaphors in ficd

[01/08 11:23 AM] tra$h$elf: All the blood (a lot) in romans body rushed to his giant. D*ck causing him to tragically faint and drop to the floor. RIP

[01/08 2:10 PM] Get Memed Son: dio took the drink that roman had left unfinished, emptied it in one go, and returned to the dancefloor. the end.

[01/08 4:09 PM] tra$h$elf: Roman awakened slowly, his vision blurry. He was Still painfully hard, his erection straining against his jeans; he moved, feeling his fly drag against the skin and relishing in the pain. The strange man was currently going out of the small and unspecified room, and Roman frowned. How rude.  
"Are you just going to leave me like this?"

[01/08 4:10 PM] Get Memed Son: (((( how did they even get to ? that room ????? they were in the bar like a second ago ?!?! anyway.s. ))))

[01/08 4:10 PM] tra$h$elf: (Celes I'm soeey) (Sandra made me do it) (they r abusive :/// )

[01/08 4:10 PM] Get Memed Son: "yeah" replied DDIO. then he keft.

 

THE END

 

[01/08 4:10 PM] Get Memed Son: now for rela

[01/08 4:11 PM] tra$h$elf: Any ducking ways

[01/08 4:11 PM] tra$h$elf: I didnt reread obviously  
[01/08 4:11 PM] tra$h$elf: Nice

[01/08 4:12 PM] Cels The Ceili: wth

**Author's Note:**

> the whatsup group is cqlled kinky shitfics and i love it
> 
> \- me: get memed son (i didnt known this was my ficking wapp name)  
> \- luz (viciouscircle): tra$h$elf (thats her name on my phoje :-) )  
> \- celes (appears a couple of times): actuallyko. i think.
> 
> kill me


End file.
